Seriously Though.

1 : Anonymous2021/10/13 09:00 ID: q774cn
Seriously Though.
2 : Anonymous2021/10/13 11:29 ID: hggykn0

but if you it shoots

Having a stroke here

ID: hghuj4z

Yea, it does that if you have a stroke too, good point.

ID: hgiwkix

they just accidentally a word

3 : Anonymous2021/10/13 10:55 ID: hggvsb8

I am today years old, that i realised what it means the letters on the power ups of contra:

Machinegun Laser Flamethrower(?) Shotgun

Holy shit i'm dumb.

ID: hght1we

My initial guesses were:

Medium Long Fuck It Spread

But yours are a lot better

ID: hgipnrr

Going of kid-me's memories, probably mean:

Meh Bullet Limit Fuck I didn't mean to step on that Spam
ID: hgi012l

Wow! I did not realize that either. In fairness, the last time I played Contra I was many many days younger

ID: hgioczt


4 : Anonymous2021/10/13 10:09 ID: hggs6zv

Looks like you need a visit to the urologist

ID: hggyj9c

This is accurate. Bro shouldn't be pissing droplets anytime of day.

ID: hggymkk

Looks pretty normal to me

ID: hgigi2q

Just use a pipe cleaner

ID: hgierbs

He got a foreskin

ID: hgimrmn

That's not how foreskin works.

ID: hggvohv

Looks like You've never had a PINGAS

5 : Anonymous2021/10/13 09:10 ID: hggo90t

It looks like you haven't unlocked the sitting down feature yet. It's so practical!

ID: hggp31p

Don’t judge him. This feature is hidden behind a DLC. It’s called toilet seat

ID: hggywjm

I'm curious what kind of toilet you bought where the seat comes as an extra

ID: hggsioq

Yeah that one is special. It's called "shooting the gap". Don't ask me how I managed to get a stream between the seat and the bowl with a limp noodle, but it happens.

ID: hgiceu4

Bruh, that's every day when potty-training boys.

ID: hggsnu2

Fun fact: you don't even need a noodle for it!

It gives you a trophy though (Floor cleaning 101)

ID: hggv2s8

Jokes on you, i can piss my leg even when im sitting. If the stream god does not wills it, theres nothing you can do about it but piss on >insert whatever you want<

ID: hgiseaw

I've been doing this forever, and when people discover this fact - they are utterly shocked for some reason

Thanks for reassuring me that its not that weird

ID: hgits7l

Nah, my partner does it too because he thinks it's just better. Just watch out for random boners I guess.

ID: hgh3ke8

I do it when I have a boner or im too drunk to stand. But Its too bothersome to do it all the time

ID: hgh5499

Nobody asked women if it's too bothersome, but then again, we don't get giant boners

6 : Anonymous2021/10/13 10:06 ID: hggrz2r

Does Contra have a power-up where you aim at the enemy but it shoots you in the foot?

7 : Anonymous2021/10/13 13:10 ID: hgh91pf

Spread Shot aka Post Ejaculation Piss

8 : Anonymous2021/10/13 16:07 ID: hghxmss

You forgot the one where the middle of the flaps kinda stick together and you get two streams moving randomly from each other. Honestly, after 40 I started sitting for the first piss of the day.

9 : Anonymous2021/10/13 09:42 ID: hggqbq1

When the acronyms are MLFS: We were this close to perfection

10 : Anonymous2021/10/13 14:20 ID: hghi2xo

I don't understand you other dudes. I mean I do, cause any guy with a penis has experienced this happening once or twice, but there's a perfectly good solution here. Pull the skin apart around your urethra. Done. Literally take your fingers and gently pull the skin apart before you pee to open up the hole. Pretty much solves these issues 99%+ of the time, for me anyway.

11 : Anonymous2021/10/13 15:23 ID: hghradp

If you have strange energy bullets and lasers coming out when you piss I would definitely recommend a doctor.

12 : Anonymous2021/10/13 10:48 ID: hggv9b4

> If you it

13 : Anonymous2021/10/13 11:07 ID: hggwqa4

Dude, before you pee, just pull apart the skin at the opening to your urethra. Solves this 90% of the time.

ID: hghy6uc

We came to complain, not have you fix our problems!

14 : Anonymous2021/10/13 09:34 ID: hggpt0s

So I have been doing this all wrong, first I have been tring to score against the goal keeper ( which I now know as the toilet seat ).. So I have to sit on the toilet seat and try to dribble it between the toilet seat and the rim to score in the bowl? Is this the way it works? So confusing.......

15 : Anonymous2021/10/13 11:53 ID: hgh0tmp

If you've got an F shot, then you had a pretty good night prior to waking up. If you know, you know.

16 : Anonymous2021/10/13 12:25 ID: hgh3ysf

I've never pissed in any of the ways presented..

17 : Anonymous2021/10/13 12:47 ID: hgh6a7c

That’s why I piss behind the tree in my backyard every morning, then I’d doesn’t matter where I aim

18 : Anonymous2021/10/13 13:27 ID: hghb2th

go see a doc if its either of the bottom 2 over more than a few occasions

19 : Anonymous2021/10/13 13:36 ID: hghc7mw

I get the S quite often, I've started to sit to avoid any potential accidents just in case.

20 : Anonymous2021/10/13 13:46 ID: hghdfcu

Take a shower you dirty animals.

21 : Anonymous2021/10/13 18:29 ID: hgij4hj

Morningwood compounds the issue

22 : Anonymous2021/10/13 19:05 ID: hgiohbe

The spy: a split stream secretly shoots towards your pants outside your line of sight

23 : Anonymous2021/10/13 19:10 ID: hgip998

what about the random double streams?

24 : Anonymous2021/10/13 21:35 ID: hgjaeuj

We need a “2 stream” example and it’s perfect.

25 : Anonymous2021/10/13 10:13 ID: hggshoa

Sounds serious. Go get yourself a digital exam.

27 : Anonymous2021/10/13 13:52 ID: hghe75j

If you piss "S" way, You may need to seek medical help

Try not to piss him off

28 : Anonymous2021/10/13 18:19 ID: hgihlti

Godzilla had a stroke trying to read L

29 : Anonymous2021/10/13 18:30 ID: hgija8f

You first need to press up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, pee, spray, fart.

30 : Anonymous2021/10/13 18:55 ID: hgin0hb

The deadly viper piss, split stream.

31 : Anonymous2021/10/13 23:01 ID: hgjlvtk

Funny comparison but true

32 : Anonymous2021/10/13 23:23 ID: hgjorm3

F and S are post morning wank

33 : Anonymous2021/10/13 20:02 ID: hgiwvp5

It appears someone has a dose of the clap.


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