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If you’re looting containers and you find an MRE and crackers you eat them right? Well if I eat too much I should shit my pants loud enough to alert nearby players.
Instead of a blood trail you leave skid marks wherever you go and the only way to fix this is to apply TP (already in the game btw)
Nikita, realism NOW
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No. Realism is that if you eat MREs, you can't shit for days. Maybe the mystery canned stuff, but MREs will close and lock the back door.
ID: hiieyz9ID: hijawfmThe toilet paper included in an MRE is called John Wayne. It's rough, tough, and don't take shit from anyone.
ID: hiippqrEscape from Bowls
ID: hiigoxr13 day field exercise. Pooped once. Can confirm
ID: hiilr6cJesus
ID: hij9h91There is a guy on YouTube named Steve who reviews MREs (old and new) I wonder when the last time he shit was and if he’s a ticking time bomb of constipation
ID: hijwwmjYea i think I didn't shit for like the first 3 weeks of boot camp. Idk what chemicals they put in the chow hall food or if that's from the stress, but it was concerning
ID: hij2eg8but MREs will close and lock the back door.
Maybe that's why nobody can get stuff from your "secure container"
ID: hijpslpUnderrated comment of the century.
ID: hiicyztThis... they make you super fucking constipated lol
ID: hiijmv2I wonder if it's by design. Imagine giving your position away because you shit your pants and the smell carried over.
ID: hiiihu0I never understood why people had this problem. In boot(the only time I ever had to eat MRE's cause I had a desk job)I shit at the same times every day like clockwork. Hell, it was the most relaxing part of boot lol cause the TI's would basically not fuck with you while you were pooping as long as you didn't spend 40 minutes in there jerking off.
ID: hiirwyaThe IMPs my buddy acquired at the end of a training thing gave me hershey squirts so it seems people have unique experiences with them.
ID: hiie2o4The Mexican stew mre usually speed runs my bowels
ID: hiighkcVeggie.
Egg.
Omolette.
ID: hiih3pmMil vet. Can confirm
ID: hiistzcTrue then if i chug 5 juices because i need backspace i should have to pee within 5 mins.
ID: hiiodzvDon't forget that you always shit a big orange lump when you finally do.
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I should be able to shit your pants mid raid.
ID: hiipcmcWe should be able to shit their pants
ID: hiis7o2Our pants, comrade. Da.
ID: hijxxeh“Alright guys real funny, but for real who pissed my pants”
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Let’s follow the poop trail! Proceeds to shoot up the closest porta potty
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look into SCUM. it has this mechanic.
ID: hiilan8and the mechanic gets "shit on" (lul) by people sometimes, but it serves a purpose. It forces you to be vulnerable in a dangerous world and plan ahead ("we're about to raid this base, everyone go to the bathroom before we get in the car!")
ID: hijhbpheveryone go to the bathroom before we get in the car!
So, it allows you to become the parent of a clan of toddlers?
ID: hiisydxSCUM is probably the best true survival game out there to be honest. And the poop mechanic is fucking awesome.
ID: hiiw3cgSCUM has its strong points but in general it’s way too easy. I much prefer DayZ
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You think its cool and funny until Nikita's design "team" decides you dont just have to go to toilet at some point but randomly and immediately. In the middle of a gun fight your character locks into an animation and shits on the floor.
ID: hik0ev0fucking dying at this, thank you for this mental image
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Craft poop with ammo/melee weapon for poison damage like cultists.
ID: hij3545thatd be fucked UP to get killed by that lol
ID: hijs5t1Shitty way to die
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okay!
ID: hik2zmqok cool thanks can't wait
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Have you eaten an MRE? You ain't shitting...
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Tactical number two during raid? Why not!
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What are these satirical realism posts nowadays?
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teammate sees your shit trail behind your steps
"Bro is that poop coming from behind you??"
"... guys I'm not saying it was me, but somebody definitely shit my pants."
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The bathrooms on interchange will now become pvp hot spots instead of insurance scam dropoffs
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Might as well rename the Gamma to "The Poop Shute" while we are at it. Eat to much food and your items start falling out.
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I've been saying for years that you should get a boner when you see one of the posters of half naked girls on the wall. Gives you a movement speed penalty and if you get a heavy bleed with a boner you pass out.
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Some mechanics that make sense in terms of BSGs goals for realism
Tree branches falling in high winds possibly killing players
Specs of dust disturbing players eyes commonly, must cycle an animation and apply ointment to treat, eyewear makes it less common
PMC randomly sneezes and you must tap space bar as fast as possible to hold it in before alerting enemies
PMC has a chance to become sick for typical IRL duration, colds,flu, bronchitis etc.
Chance to jam finger in lids of containers
While walking have a chance to twist ankle if not on level terrain
Turning head too often will cause neck pain
Caffeine withdrawal headaches
Urination/defecation during raid requires TP
ID: hije301Urination/defecation during raid requires TP
I mean, to be fair, TP is a luxury during urination or defecation, not a requirement.
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Jesus fuck, just ruined my jeans and hoodie laughing at this post. Fuck.
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If you drink soda you should burp and shit too. If you chug like, an entire bottle title of water, you get a side ache after running. You also get hiccups. I'd you eat too much and you're walking around and hear a gunshot, you just "HNNGGBBB" and get a movement debuff.
I can only imagine camping a building sniping acavs. You take a shot and just hear a massive fart followed by "god fucking dammit." You laugh then walk down to see a messy guy crouched in the corner and drop him some TP. He flips you off, graves the TP and closes the door.
They should also add tissue boxes and if you stare at those model posters too much, well.... You know 🙂
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this is what lack of updates does to motherfuckers, are u happy
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BASED
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Well this is quite literally a shit post
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