Shall we all put “God Emperor of Mankind” down as out religion on the UK census this year? If enough of us do it we can get recognised as a religion, much like those filthy Jedi did back in 2010.

1 : Anonymous2021/03/07 08:46 ID: lzmpw2
Shall we all put “God Emperor of Mankind” down as out religion on the UK census this year? If enough of us do it we can get recognised as a religion, much like those filthy Jedi did back in 2010.
2 : Anonymous2021/03/07 08:58 ID: gq2yn88

I think it would be better if we all put down “The Imperial Cult” as that’s what the official state religion is

However we could alternatively say “The Imperial Truth” as that’s what Big E was always trying to push for

Just all depends on if you want to push for a scientific “religion” or a faith based religion

Though for those like myself who prefer the Mechanicus we could say “The Cult Mechanicus” or “The Cult of The Machine(God)”

ID: gq2yu6u

Praise the Omnissiah.

ID: gq39z98

Im a car mechanic, ofcourse i have to go with The Cult Mechanicus

ID: gq3d4hd

For the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh...

ID: gq30haz

Imperial truth, nice

ID: gq315ny

01010000 01110010 01100001 01101001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01000111 01101100 01101111 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01001111 01101101 01101110 01101001 01110011 01110011 01101001 01100001 01101000 00101110 00100000

ID: gq3dole

Problem is getting all the UK 40K fans to hear of this, let alone put one thing down. A few hundred or thousand might be possible but to get on the chart that's going to need tens of thousands.

ID: gq3jatp

Yes. Praise the Ohmessiah!

ID: gq3fxgm

well, I am gonna put down the cult of nurgle

ID: gq4rqos

The Ravens are with you!

ID: gq3w20f

Putting down "Cult of the four-armed Emperor" (:

ID: gq3kkwe

Praise be the machine god.

ID: gq42kqx

Just watch a bunch of you do that and then get labeled as a white nationalist cult in the news because it has the imperial in it.

ID: gq3n2of


3 : Anonymous2021/03/07 08:48 ID: gq2y27b

Damn Lorgar the Emperor is no god, now stop asking this over and over again!

ID: gq38oxn

10,000 years later

Fuckin' CALLED it!

ID: gq3czyx

Lorgar The Emperor you say?

ID: gq3oiih

How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?

4 : Anonymous2021/03/07 11:08 ID: gq366h1

What about the four armed emperor?

5 : Anonymous2021/03/07 11:48 ID: gq38hjo

Erebus has entered the chat

6 : Anonymous2021/03/07 10:57 ID: gq35jpu

In all seriousness, if youre non religious record as such. Listing any religion (even joke religions) counts as having a religious affinity, increasing the percentage of the populace regarded as being religious, which is in turn used to justify increased funding for faith projects.

ID: gq36bx5

The British government funds faith projects?

ID: gq3dx03

So does that mean we can force the UK government to fund GW?

ID: gq3a4nw

You know i would take that, because than at least would be enough money so the churches, chapels and graveyards could be repaired.

ID: gq3f8mu

I'm not religious myself but what's the problem with religous projects getting funded? Would you not agree everyone has a right to choose what they believe? Why should religous groups suffer less support becuase atheists and such don't agree with it?

7 : Anonymous2021/03/07 10:23 ID: gq33njy

It was not formally recognised as a religion, just recorded that that many people had put it on their census returns.

ID: gq36wa9

Yup only certain made up nonsense is allowed. We may worship a living corpse but that's not quite insane enough to be recognized as a religion.

8 : Anonymous2021/03/07 11:39 ID: gq3806w

As u step into the last church some tall long haired guy closes the doors behind him "so lets talk about some religion"

9 : Anonymous2021/03/07 11:26 ID: gq377iq

No. Put down what your actual religion is. Censuses are fucking important and it would be cool if everyone took it seriously. Don't want to be a killjoy but this information is used for policy.

Atheists together, strong.

ID: gq37mkl

I'm all for the jokes, but yeah you're absolutely right.

ID: gq39alr

Not to be a kill joy but do you think the Tories actually give a flying fuck about what anyone wants or puts down?

Revolutionaries together, strong.

ID: gq3ftuz

Flying spaghetti monster it is!

ID: gq3ljyp

Dude the tories don't care about what you put on the census as long as you give them money every month.

ID: gq3fola

Usually I'd agree but the last census was supposed to be the last one. That was official.

10 : Anonymous2021/03/07 20:51 ID: gq4y1k6

What about St. Celestine's thighs?

11 : Anonymous2021/03/07 12:20 ID: gq3ajss

No, don’t do it, for a serious reason, the more people that mark ANY religion gives the government the information it needs to allocate resources and funds to religion, so if you really arnt religious then leave it as such.

ID: gq3nr45

Only if the Govt want to allocate a greater proportion of the budget to funding 'the cult mechanicus'...

12 : Anonymous2021/03/07 13:17 ID: gq3ergr

Where do I sign...

13 : Anonymous2021/03/07 16:23 ID: gq3x7ur

Fucker did you even listen to what the Emperor said?!

14 : Anonymous2021/03/07 16:53 ID: gq40nz7

Hang on hang on. He's got a point. Religions get tax relief from most western governments. And surely minis count as religious expenditures, so if we play this right, we can get tax deductible minis.

15 : Anonymous2021/03/07 12:03 ID: gq39ha9

Dont you mean the manemperor of mankind

16 : Anonymous2021/03/07 13:04 ID: gq3dquh

Imperial Truth.

17 : Anonymous2021/03/07 13:07 ID: gq3dwwi

Well we already have robots on Mars so I'd say the Cult of the Omnissiah is picking up over there. We need to step up our game here or we won't have anyone to set up an alliance with those pesky tech priests.

18 : Anonymous2021/03/07 13:20 ID: gq3exi1

my upvote pushed this to 666 and my answer is yes...

19 : Anonymous2021/03/07 14:49 ID: gq3my6s

Chaos Undivided perhaps? Though I’m not in the UK personally...

20 : Anonymous2021/03/07 15:35 ID: gq3rp8l

Praise the Omnissiah

21 : Anonymous2021/03/07 15:03 ID: gq3o9j3

The census is used for real policy decisions, please don't put yourself down as supporting a fictional fascist xenophobic empire

ID: gq3tk2t

Specially because you will show up as religious (even if under other) and that affects public policy. But based on factual information being downvoted, I guess its "fuck it for the memes"

ID: gq49mx4

The Emperor is as real as the Christian god.

22 : Anonymous2021/03/07 12:23 ID: gq3areo

He is not a god

23 : Anonymous2021/03/07 11:32 ID: gq37jn1

What dogma will you follow, purge all xenos and kill everyone that disagrees? Sounds like a really bad idea.

ID: gq3fn2k

Wasn't Brexit a step towards purging xenos???

24 : Anonymous2021/03/07 13:22 ID: gq3f3gz

Led by a fascist eugenicist?

We already have Johnson.

No need.

ID: gq3g01g

It would be a great joke because of that exact reason though.

25 : Anonymous2021/03/07 13:27 ID: gq3fj7s

This has way better lore than any of the other "religions" anyway.

26 : Anonymous2021/03/07 11:01 ID: gq35ru3

Remind me of John Blanche art.

27 : Anonymous2021/03/07 12:54 ID: gq3cz0r

I put Nurgle on mine, not sure what this is about.

28 : Anonymous2021/03/07 13:04 ID: gq3dpzu


29 : Anonymous2021/03/07 13:24 ID: gq3fb4y


30 : Anonymous2021/03/07 13:27 ID: gq3fk70

I'm in.

31 : Anonymous2021/03/07 13:47 ID: gq3h8z4

Wait you guys have to fill in your religion in the census ?

32 : Anonymous2021/03/07 14:46 ID: gq3mmxs

You can, but I'm going with Chaos Undivided

33 : Anonymous2021/03/07 15:16 ID: gq3pmrh

You bigot, us jedi wash!

34 : Anonymous2021/03/07 16:36 ID: gq3yrmi

All he is now is just a holy French frie with the ability to kill things

35 : Anonymous2021/03/07 17:43 ID: gq46nb7

I like The Imperial Cult idea. Definitely willing to do that in the US at the next census, years from now... Maybe get a worldwide thing going.

Wasn’t there a bunch of people in the UK and US that did that with Jedi? Too lazy to Google today.

36 : Anonymous2021/03/07 18:37 ID: gq4emaz

Let us begin the Unification of Terra.

37 : Anonymous2021/03/07 18:56 ID: gq4hgk5


38 : Anonymous2021/03/07 19:14 ID: gq4k1xl

Do what the emperor would want and spread the creed.

39 : Anonymous2021/03/07 20:17 ID: gq4t70c

I know no god as I follow The Imperial Truth

40 : Anonymous2021/03/07 21:43 ID: gq55k99

Wait, we CAN do that? You’re telling me we could have done that earlier and it’s still not a thing?

That’s some heresy

41 : Anonymous2021/03/07 23:41 ID: gq5kdma

The emperor is cool but I'm more of a machine god type of guy.

42 : Anonymous2021/03/08 01:40 ID: gq5xcf5

I did as an American. It was fun telling them "Imperial Cult of the God Emperor of Mankind."

43 : Anonymous2021/03/08 02:06 ID: gq607tn

Thats rather a bit cringe

44 : Anonymous2021/03/08 02:50 ID: gq64x8x

Just say, "The Imperial Cult," and they'll have to figure out if its the God Emperor or The Queen.

45 : Anonymous2021/03/08 03:47 ID: gq6ay8g

Hey, I was one of those ‘filthy Jedi’! Lol Currently debating whether to put down Satanist or Pastafarian this time?

46 : Anonymous2021/03/08 08:36 ID: gq6x9wx

Follower of the lecticio devinitartus

47 : Anonymous2021/03/08 10:34 ID: gq74915


48 : Anonymous2021/03/07 12:52 ID: gq3cuba

This will definitely come off the wrong way and will be seen as some sort of weird fascist cult or an attempt to revive british imperialism.

It would be best not to

49 : Anonymous2021/03/07 12:01 ID: gq39cpq

Why not if the Jedi can do it so can we? Praise the God Emperor of mankind and the omnissiah.

ID: gq3cxd9

Jediism isn't recognised as a religion in the UK because no one believes in it in good faith, and at least when they did it it was to make a point (that the religion question should be voluntary) as opposed to this, which is just screwing up government records for the sake of it.

50 : Anonymous2021/03/07 13:10 ID: gq3e55u

Not British, but come on, some of us here worship The Prince of Pleasure (or another real deity), not that rotting corpse.

51 : Anonymous2021/03/07 18:39 ID: gq4euxb

No, let's not, because you might get mistaken for Trump or Boris Johnson supporters.

52 : Anonymous2021/03/07 13:09 ID: gq3e41f

I think you’ll find anything but the imperial truth is heresy!

53 : Anonymous2021/03/07 13:27 ID: gq3fl07

All the Jedi and others got put as "No Religion" in statistics.

54 : Anonymous2021/03/07 13:32 ID: gq3fydf

If you write down "Imperial Cult" on the census as a joke, try not to be suprised when the Inquisition shows up to question the resolve of your faith!

and by "question your resolve" I mean you're going to get shot in the face

55 : Anonymous2021/03/07 14:14 ID: gq3jkzo

No. If you're not religious don't put any down. Sure it seems funny but they total up who is and who isn't and use that to push through non secular laws since the population will be showing as more religious than it actually is.

56 : Anonymous2021/03/07 16:44 ID: gq3zonq

Go for it bros. You have my blessing as a Christian haha

57 : Anonymous2021/03/07 17:26 ID: gq44pev

Gonna put down Catholic, enough of its ripped off that it should still count I guess

58 : Anonymous2021/03/07 11:57 ID: gq392cm

UK does not have the same laws regarding the recognition of religion the USA has. In the USA, no matter what faith I proclaim to have, if I get enough people behind me the state is forced to recognize it. In less barbaric countries religion is treated as the trash it is and, unless you've existed for literally hundred of years and have millions of followers, you will not be recognized.

ID: gq3o0x4

Wow, the edgy atheist strikes again...

59 : Anonymous2021/03/07 11:31 ID: gq37is2

Jesus is here Jesus is here

ID: gq3dwne

You dont have to be poor anymore


Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x