10 years since this game came out and I still have this entire lemon speech memorized. Half the time I can't remember to pay my phone bill on time, but by god I remember this speech.ID: gsp1h25
Happi Lemon cake day! 🙂ID: gspb7p7
I still have the Wheatley ghost story memorized, more or less, so you're in good company, at least.ID: gspf0qm
What story is that?ID: gspiddl
Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down...with the lemons
Yes sir mr Johnson!ID: gsp6vkf
"Say goodbye, Caroline."
"Goodbye, Caroline."ID: gspc16r
And before you fellas get any ideas, she’s married... to science.ID: gsplvxz
I laughed out loud when I heard that, as a tech support person, it was hilarious.
They forgot to get their engineers to make a combustible lemon before they burnt the house downID: gsoz4nr
Lol right or did they finish it and we just never found it in the huge facility?ID: gspcj0e
The engineers were busy building sentry turrets to kill the Black Mesa team!ID: gspl8a7
Fun fact - All lemons are combustible if you put a grenade inside!
I was just talking to one of my friends about how amazing this game is. There isn't a single part I don't like. Wheatley and CJ are both hilarious. It's short and sweet, amazingly written and laid out, controls are on-point. 10/10.ID: gsp9a4m
Took me a while to realize you meant Cave Johnson and not GTA San AndreasID: gspavuk
All you had to do was stop crushing up moon rocks, CJ!ID: gspbkmj
Aperture Science. Home. At least it was before I fucked everything up!ID: gsp9wpm
I feel like Cave and I are buddies so I call him CJ lolz.ID: gsp0g4d
Couldn’t agree with you more!ID: gspilud
I need to play it again.
I haven't played it since playing through it in a single 12-hour session the day it came out.
I didn't even realize it had been more than a couple hours until my mom came into my room and asked if I was okay.ID: gsp521x
Yep. I'm playing the main campaign of 2 and that betrayal was something I didn't see coming.
My wife has this hanging on our bedroom wall.ID: gsp8m2s
I used to have it hanging in my office at work.ID: gspfumw
This is my computer desktop background. I got it the last time this was postedID: gsperu6
I have this version in my office.ID: gspbaxz
I say “fuck lemons!” and bail.ID: gsohivd
Posting JK Simmons doing the lemons speech. His performance really made it special.ID: gspdhst
I prefer the in-game version with GladOS' commentary. The actual speech is a minute in, but the lead-up is good context.ID: gspfsgq
"YEEAH! Take the lemons!"
"Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!"
Oh, Caroline.ID: gspq1kh
"Oh, I like this guy!" Lol.
All these spheres are made of asbestos, by the way. Keeps out the rats.
Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos.
Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into a calculator, it makes a happy face.ID: gsptnoh
Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts.ID: gspvn8w
Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain.
There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it.
I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reactionID: gspclfz
Science isn't about why, it's why not!ID: gspprn0
Man I can still hear J.K. Simmons saying all this. His performance is excellent.
"when life gives you a bunch of lemons, you gotta jam 'em down someone's throat until they see yellow."
-Frank ReynoldsID: gsoi58u
“And if some punk ass kid humiliates you, you've got to do the only thing thats left to do!”ID: gspapwq
This was literally the best voice line segments of the game his rage over lemons and combustible lemons lol
Thats quite hard to burn the lemons i dont belive anyone has even worked out the self ignition temperature of lemon juice.ID: gsogs16
Well Cave Johnson did say he was going to have his engineers create a combustible lemon. We just never find out due to the curse of 3 with valve.ID: gsoj8ve
Half-Life Alyx apparently got their gears going again for game design. I want to see a VR portal game
The beautiful thing is, life never gave us lemons. They’re not a naturally occurring fruit, but a man-made hybrid. We gave ourselves lemons, and we said, “yes, we like these sour, acidic bastards, and we’re going to eat them 100 different ways, and we’re going to harvest their acid for 100 different purposes, because we’re the masters of our own destinies and the dynamic human spirit refuses to submit.”
So when you see a lemon, feel proud. We did that.
Cave Johnson made incendiary lemons. He turned lemons into incendiary grenades. Life gave him lemons, and he made lemonades.
I have a combustible lemons rant shower curtain. It's my favorite thing in my apartment.
Yeah! He’s speaking what we’re all feeling!
Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons!”
Sad cave Johnson noise